To be free from the binds of the mind, money, and time.
This word is with me nearly every day. I want to see how boundless and limitless my life can get. Because I know exactly what it’s like to be trapped in my own mind, creating restrictions and self-imposed prisons. Allow me to elaborate:
When I was growing up, I suffered.
Whether it was the culture I grew up in, my astrological chart or otherwise, my perception of what it was to “be a man” or “be masculine” was:
- Play footy
- See how many beers you could drink on a weekend;
- Be loud, aggressive and DON’T show your emotions; and
- See how many chics you could 'get with' on a weekend.
This wasn’t me.
Instead I was:
- A kid who valued his health and feeling good. I hated beer and still do, and actually rarely drank at all;
- A basketball player;
- Very well connected to my emotions;
- Someone who had a vision for where I wanted to go in life (and caring about anything as a teen is a definite ‘no’); and
- The ‘nice guy’ who consciously chose not to go out and see how many girls I could get with.
Weighing up my list of “what it meant to be a man” and the list of how I saw myself, they hardly lined up. Hence, I adopted the belief that I was “not masculine enough.” Despite being good at school, relatively popular, and an elite basketball player, I suffered in one major area:
Girls in my teens and young women in my early 20's.
I would see the hot girl I was most attracted to and instantly this voice would come up: “You’re not masculine enough, she’d probably reject you anyway.”
Nearly every time.
And so what did I do? I bought this. I bought this line and agreed. I thought, “Oh you’re right, so there’s no point in asking her out coz you already know the outcome.” I’d justify my safety to avoid the pain of facing my feelings of inadequacy and fear of rejection.
If anyone else has done this with anything, then please raise your hand. Because the theme of this is simple and widely applicable:
You have a dream, vision, goal or idea.
Some part of you (major or minor) tells you you’re not good enough in some way.
And so instead you taper, lower, and change your actual dream! You water it down. You aim lower. ALL from a voice in your head. It’s incredible really.
Returning to my story, the truth is it had nothing to do with girls and everything to do with the perception I held of myself. The way I saw myself affected the way I behaved. And the way I behaved shaped my reality. As always the internal creates the external.
I hated how I’d literally go to talk to a girl and then get either choked up in my throat or cramp up in my stomach. I can remember it so well. It was genuine paralysis, which is what I hated the most: the fact that I wanted to do something and I was (somehow) the one stopping myself. Yet I came to understand that:
If I am the one who creates the cage, I am the one who has the key.
Yet I had no idea what the key was!
I was naturally curious and intensely driven to improve my basketball, which led me to believe nearly anything was learnable. So I got fed up and said to myself, “I would rather step out and strike up a simple conversation with that girl and get ‘rejected’ than to not step out at all and go home wondering “What if?”” I decided to do something about it.
I entered the next phase of my journey.
Fast forward to today…
I not only found that key but have discovered many more cages and freed myself many times over since. I learnt to eagerly seek out and relish finding the ways in which I was holding myself back. Because I knew every time I'd find something, I'd become another degree freer or more fulfilled, more expressive and less trapped.
The person who I was has died a million times over and been reborn or transformed, and I imagine it will continue this way for some time.
Today I live a beautiful life and have an incredible relationship with myself, my mind, body, emotions, heart and soul. I live very much from a deep soul level of inspiration and purpose. My body feels electric. My soul walks its purpose. My cheekiness, fun-loving and playful nature come out to play pretty much always haha. I'm well connected to my sensuality and sexual nature. I have a sense of ease and magic a lot of the time. I have profoundly fun, playful, exciting, deep, connected, cheeky, alive relationships where ever I choose to have them.
My purpose is simple: be and live Unbound.
mediocrity makes me cringe.
I want to live without restrictions (not to be mistaken as "no filter")
I want to relentlessly hear and express the deep movement of my soul.
I want to have beautiful, connected relationships
and To always have the money, time, and business-lifestyle structure that if a friend calls and says "There's an amazing dance festival / retreat / event on in greece in 3 days, you wanna go?" that I can say "hell yes!" and be on the next 1st class flight out. (aviators and all ;)
But here's something that's key: this is not a one-without-the-other mission.
As in, I want to be Unbound internally and externally.
To me it’s no good if I have a million dollars but my mind is frantically running the show, keeping me from being present in the moment, having fulfilment and distracting me from the fires of my soul, heart and inspiration.
Likewise I have no desire in being the long haired, “love, light and unicorns” guy who wears all white linen outfits and claims to be enlightened yet renounces money, 'the system,' and can’t pay rent, travel the world, have a nice burger with da boiz, pay for dance lessons and so on.
I want to bridge worlds. The esoteric to the generic. Inner abundance AND physical, tangible external abundance. The feminine and the masculine. Fire and flow. Inner and outer. This is part of how my purpose is currently playing out.
To bring edge, fun, sexiness and body where there's too much "love, light, and unicorns."
To bring relatability where shit is way too airy.
To bring the other side of the equation. And then the other side to the other side. And so on.
To traverse my inner world and travel this exceptionally gorgeous physical playground called earth.
To fall deeply in love.
To let my soul sing.
To have fun.
To dance (bachata in case you were wondering)
To be in the moment.
To die into who I believe i am so that I can become who i’m really meant to become.
To eat food I can’t even pronounce the name of (and a shit tonne of Mexican food)
To cliff dive in Croatia (done)
To EXPERIENCE life. It has so much to offer.
To be alive, not just living.
To be cheeky and playful.
To let the fires of my soul ignite my path.
And to let ALL of me express itself.
I can’t be boxed. I can’t be caged